April 20, 2022
West High will administer the 2022 AP tests over the first two weeks of May. With these high-pressure exams on the horizon, many test-takers have implemented various studying strategies to prepare, some more unique than others.
“I’ve been sleeping with a textbook under my pillow since spring break ended — Mondays and Wednesdays AP Human Geography, Tuesdays and Fridays AP Biology, and weekends AP Spanish,” said Dormir Hawkins ’24. “I’m hoping I can soak up all the information I missed sleeping through class in time for the tests.”
Other students have opted to avoid sleeping altogether. According to a recent survey of West High students enrolled in AP courses, 76% reported sleeping 5 hours or less since AP Crunch Time (more commonly referred to as April) began.
“I don’t remember the last time I got 8 hours of rest,” said Kay Oss ’23. “With seven exams to study for, the only time I can review is when I should be sleeping.”
Although most AP test-takers spend the majority of April reviewing in hopes of receiving a score of 4 or 5, some believe there are alternative methods to attain high exam scores. Current AP U.S. History student Jack Pott ’24 plans to leave his Venmo username — @a-rad-ish-guy — on the DBQ portion of the exam for his test grader.
“The Gilded Age? The Great Depression? I honestly couldn’t tell you anything about either of those things — I haven’t paid attention in APUSH all year,” Pott said. “I’m a lost cause at this point. My only hope for a passing score is to get whoever is grading my exam to request as much cash as they want in exchange for a good score.”
Earlier this month, some furious students began the Destroy College Board campaign, citing the corporation’s monopolization of education as a key reason for West High students’ general sleeplessness and decline of well-being.
“AP test-takers, please don’t let a single-digit number define your self-worth. After you finish applying to colleges, that number literally doesn’t matter anymore, I assure you,” said Principal Mitch Gross in the latest Monday Message. “Please get some sleep and take care of yourselves.”
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