New bathroom pass policy instituted at West High

The West High bathroom passes now feature a five-minute timer which starts when students leave the classroom and ends upon their return. The administration changed in an attempt to encourage even quicker trips to the bathroom. Students have yet to find out what happens when the time runs out.

“The closest I let it get was 30 seconds. It started beeping at me, but kind of quietly. I think the administration was worried about the noise disturbing other classes,” said Barry Nurvez ’25. 

The administration refused to comment on what will happen but said several times that no harm will come to students if the timer runs out on them. Carrie Yus ’22 ran an experiment to confirm that statement.

“I left the pass in the toilet just in case it was going to blow up or catch fire or something. Then I shut the stall door and waited for the beeping to stop. When I entered the stall, it was just gone,” Yus said. “But the toilet looked fine, so I think we’d be fine too.”

Yus’s story spread quickly throughout the student population, prompting a variety of theories — the most popular being the pass either self-destructs or teleports back to its classroom. Whatever the true answer may be, students are not to be very eager to find out.

“The mystery is part of the motivation,” said Principal Mitch Gross. “This version of the pass has been the most effective yet at making students take short bathroom breaks.”