“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives”- Annie Dillard

Throughout high school, I have collected words. Quotes, parts of poems and prose, song lyrics, etc. But the most prominent and accurate quote I’ve ever pinned to my wall or written in my notes app is this one: “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” It has stuck with me during my time at West, and as a parting gift, I hope to share it. 

What I’ve learned is that change is a constant in every part of our lives. If you cling to anything, cling to that. It is a hard and scary truth that time waits for nothing and no one. But I think Dillard’s quote provides, if not a solution, then a coping mechanism. It reminds us to live presently and without waste, however that may look for you. 

While this might seem like another throwaway reminder about living life to the fullest, I believe these small pieces of wisdom are the best way to guide our decisions. If anything, I hope this quote makes you pause and think. Moments pass fast, and memories fade faster, so prioritizing who you want to be takes precedence over all other things. I plan on keeping this quote with me always, and I hope someone else does too.

To the Cameron Fryes of West High, you’ll learn to take a stand.

Every high school yearbook’s senior quote section hasn’t been the same since Ferris Bueller graced cinema screens 40 years ago. “Life moves pretty fast…” But what about the Cameron Fryes of high school? The kids, like me, who slowly learned that they could take a stand in their lives. 

Like Frye, I was dragged along for much of high school, not by an 80s sweater-vest wearing kid, but rather my fear of making mistakes. Needing to be perfect and please everyone, I stayed quiet, let things slide and exhausted all my effort on others. 

There wasn’t a cinematic “Ferrari crashing” moment where I miraculously stood up for myself. Instead, it was an awkward process of trial and panic. A shaky “I need help” and maybe even a “no” here and there. Slowly, I realized that being dragged along by my own fears wasn’t what I wanted for my fast-approaching future. I needed to drop the need for perfect and pleasing and finally take a stand.  

To any other Cameron Fryes: you don’t need to steal (and destroy…) your dad’s Ferrari, dodge an angry principal or even take over a city-wide parade to take a stand. All you need to do is take up space, speak up, say no and ask for help. You are capable of all the things you wish to accomplish, but you need to prioritize yourself. You might not do it with Bueller’s charm, and it might be scary, but you can take a stand in your own life.

This past summer, I had Tame Impala’s “Currents” on repeat. I’ve been a Tame Impala fan for a while, my favorite songs being “Borderline” and “Eventually.” However, I hadn’t listened to a full album of theirs until recently. 

“Currents” marries neo-psychedelia and alternative dance to create a dreamy soundscape that puts its listeners in a trance. On the surface, the album sounds like something you would listen to if you wanted to experience what it’s like to be on drugs without actually taking them. However, “Currents” is so much more than that. It’s often referred to as a breakup album, telling the story of Kevin Parker and Melody Prochet’s split. Despite this, “Currents” ultimately tells the story of change. As I reflect on my time at West, I think this album is a perfect representation of my growth. 

Let it Happen 

Just let it happen, let it happen

“Let it Happen” sets the tone for the first act of “Currents,” describing the “noise” Parker is surrounded by after his breakup. This “noise” could symbolize a multitude of things—overwhelming stress, anxiety, foreboding change. Instead of trying to fight the whirlwind, Parker allows it to consume him. 

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I had a similar approach when I returned to school after a year on Zoom. I kept my head down—took easy classes, joined a few clubs, and ate lunch with my cousin. My only goal freshman year was to survive. And yet, change was already happening. I found myself roped into Foundations of Journalism (thanks to my cousin) and on the robotics team after attending the club fair.

Nangs 

But is there something more than that? 

“Nangs” is a complete contradiction to “Let it Happen.” It explores whether an individual can or should control the change they undergo. Over a trippy instrumental, Parker spends the entirety of the song repeating, “But is there something more than that?” This introduces one of the main themes of the album—self-doubt. 

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Freshman year, I felt like a spectator in my own life. But sophomore year was different. I challenged myself with harder classes and made an effort to socialize. I left journalism behind to pursue engineering and then cybersecurity, neither of which worked. It seemed like I was making progress. And yet, I couldn’t help but compare myself to everyone else. I felt behind and by no fault but my own. I confined myself to a single interest and denied opportunity after opportunity to branch out. 

The Moment 

In the end, it’s stronger than I know how to be

And I can’t just spend my whole lifetime wondering

“The Moment” picks up where “Let it Happen” left off. Although Parker surrenders to the whirlwind that consumes him, he learns that he can still control his destiny and be impulsive when the time is right. This upbeat dance track is a stark contrast to “Nangs,” showing the importance of continuing onward despite periods of doubt.   

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There were two defining moments of my junior year, the first being my return to journalism as a videographer for West Side Story. Making videos became an integral part of my identity. It forced me to step outside of my comfort zone and share stories that would otherwise go untold. 

The second—QuestBridge. In the two months leading up to spring break, pre-college program opportunities flooded every junior’s inbox. I ignored them, believing I wouldn’t be nearly as competitive as other applicants. Just before spring break, my friend encouraged me to apply for Questbridge’s Pre-College Prep Program. I initially brushed off the opportunity. But in the dwindling days of spring break, I found myself filling out the application. Mere minutes before it was due, I hit submit. One month later, I was chosen as a College Prep Scholar. 

Yes, I’m Changing 

Yes, I’m changing, can’t stop it now

And even if I wanted, I wouldn’t know how 

In “Yes I’m Changing,” Parker speaks from the heart about his breakup. The lyrics in the song are essentially the imaginary dialogue between him and his ex. At this point, Parker has moved past the heartbreak and is now ready to enter a new era, with full optimism. He hopes that his ex will do the same. 

–

Three years ago, I would’ve never imagined myself to be the person I am today. Never did I think I would return to journalism, let alone become Video Co-Editor. Never did I envision myself strutting across the Arganbright Auditorium stage in a toub for Walk it Out. Never did I believe I had the potential to take classes like AP Chemistry (and do well in them) or be a competitive applicant for prestigious universities. But alas, this is the result of embracing change and having a bit of self-belief. 

High school was just the beginning, and I can’t wait for what’s to come next.

Freshman year

Freshman year was an identity crisis. COVID-19 had confined my life to Zoom meetings behind a screen, and now that I was finally out, I felt that I was nothing without it. My music taste reflected this; I listened to a lot of rap artists like Playboi Carti, XXXTentacion and Juice Wrld. I only listened to artists that were mainstream or that my friends liked, in an attempt to fit in. The total amount of songs I liked this year pales in comparison to future years. I didn’t listen to music for enjoyment yet, only as a “hype” thing when I was with my friends or as background noise to focus. Because of this, my Spotify Wrapped total minutes ended up in the 20,000s, significantly less than future years.

Sophomore year

Sophomore year was the resolution of the previous identity crisis, reflected through the various genres I liked throughout the year. My top four defining artists were Joji, Chopin, d4vd and The Smiths. This reflected my inner chaos throughout most of my sophomore year. Towards the end, I finally settled into the indie rock genre, making a 10-hour playlist I’d play on shuffle daily. Music wasn’t a big part of my life until the end. As a result, my Spotify Wrapped total minutes barely surpassed the previous year, sitting in the 30,000s.

Junior year

Junior year threw a massive curveball at me—my parents divorce, and consequently, moving out of the house I’d lived in all my life. With this and a lot of other factors combined with the stereotypical stress of junior year, my mental health declined rapidly. I used music as a way to ground myself. Artists like Conan Gray, Alex G, TV Girl and Radiohead took over my playlists. I created a lot of playlists often consisting of the same songs or of similar styles. My AirPods had become a necessity; I couldn’t survive a day without them to distract myself from my mental state. As a result, my Spotify Wrapped total minutes ended up in the 70,000s. 

Senior year

Towards the end of junior year, I joined the K-pop club, which became a defining factor in my senior year. It wasn’t something I had ever expected to get into, but it was probably one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I met new friends and found a new passion in dancing, providing me with a confidence boost and a firm sense of identity. My playlists this year were crafted around Enhypen, Stray Kids and Tomorrow X Together. I’m eager to see my total minutes on this year’s Spotify Wrapped. I’m guessing (and hoping) for over 100,000.

If high school were a drink, mine would come with tapioca pearls, “half ice” and “half sugar.”

The sweet, rich brown orbs are the late night drives, the last day before my best friend moved away, the trip to New York City, the stressful dance practices. Some pearls are sweeter, some more chewy and some clump together with others. This is what makes it so good, what makes it stand out among the countless other drink options, what makes it worth savoring — just like how my favorite moments make it worth cherishing my high school memories.

Yet, there’s the ice. The ice is cold and refreshing, but it waters down the flavor the longer I let it sit out. The ice — like the stress, the burnout, the challenges, the failures — sometimes dilutes my high school experience. But at the end of the day, the flavor is still somewhat there; it’s still tolerable. I mean, I’ve made it through senior year. I guess it wasn’t too bad.

Sugar… sometimes too sweet, sometimes comforting, sometimes crave-worthy. Sugar is the unproductive study calls, the breaking down in my friend’s car, the goofing off in AP Bio. Sugar is my friends.

Just like how I fine-tune my order, high school was when I first started to customize my life, whether that was choosing classes, friends or values. It helped me figure out who I am through trial and error, so yes, I’m very grateful for these past four years. Thank you, West High, for everything.

I run like a raccoon, not slow enough to be called a tortoise and definitely not as fast as a hare. I like raccoons because they have that glint in their eyes, a cunning, snarky look to them. If high school were a race, be the raccoon. Raccoons may not always win the race, but they find things to take away from it. 

I, like a raccoon, am mischievous and curious by nature; I always feel like there is some buried treasure underneath the surface of each place or person. West is filled with students, teachers and staff that have lived more than what you know. Like the little bandit, steal some of their lived experiences and stories to shape your own perspectives. Dig a little deeper into trivial interactions and you’ll find something truly priceless. 

I strive to have the resilience of a raccoon; those furry creatures stand their ground and clutch on to their precious gems. My gem is my self-respect, and I will be run over before I let go of it. You cannot make it far without believing in yourself. 

I wish you would equip the mentality of a raccoon and channel your strengths into high school. Raccoons never think about what they lack and instead focus on what they can gain. Raccoons never think of themselves as selfish when they want more. You can want more.

Over the last few months of senior year, I have done a lot of reflecting on who I am now and who I want to be. Through this reflection, I have developed core ideas I want to keep with me as I grow. Each of these values has come from lessons, some hard and some beautiful. I have paired each of these values with a song from my favorite artists as easy reminders for my future self to stay hungry and never forget what is important. The list goes as follows:

Value the people around you and always be loyal. 

Your family and friends anchor you; never forget where you came from. Keep those relationships and grow more as you grow. For this, I chose the song “Love Yourz” by J. Cole. This song is all about appreciating what is around you, especially your people. J cole reminds us that success means nothing without being surrounded by love and real relationships.

Tame your procrastination and poor time management. 

Procrastination hinders you; do not let it control you. For me, procrastination has always been my biggest enemy and will be something that needs to be tamed as I mature. For this, I chose the song “30 for 30 Freestyle” by Drake. Drake reflects on pressure, discipline and self-awareness in this track. These will all be skills I need to master to beat procrastination in my life.

Use your voice.

Speak your truth even if it is uncomfortable. You can hold back opinions to keep the peace, but true growth comes from those difficult conversations. For this, I chose the song “Be Free” by J Cole. In this song, he speaks out against racial injustice in a raw, emotional manner and serves to show how important it is to speak out against issues that bother you.

Bet on yourself, even when it is hard.

There will be moments when doubt creeps in, when things feel too big or uncertain. But there’s one thing you can control: the belief in yourself. For this, I chose “The Climb Back” by J Cole. This track is all about resilience and fighting your way back even when life knocks you down. It is a reminder that setbacks don’t define you, the response does. 

Chase your passion with purpose.

Don’t just aim to be successful, aim to be fulfilled. For me to live a happy life, I know I will need to feel a sense of purpose in my job. For this, I chose the song “Touch the Sky” by Kanye West. This song is about ambition, drive and refusing to be limited. It is perfect for the mindset I will need while chasing my dreams.

These five pieces of advice are reminders of where I have been, what I care about and who I want to become. I know I won’t always have it figured all out. There will be moments where I fall back. Life will challenge me, but if I hold onto these values and the music that comes with them, there is nothing I cannot handle ahead.

Decision: a conclusion or resolution reached after careful consideration (according to Oxford Languages).

Decisions. I think I’ve heard this word more than my own name these past few months. Ranging from where you’re planning to go to college to what you wanna major in, this term’s been thrown around to only really talk about our future, what our next course of action will be when we leave West’s doors. But, I want to argue that decisions are something that can be determined every day.

When I wake up every morning, I have an important decision to make: what type of person will I be today? Will I be someone who takes charge, who makes the most out of my time? Will I be someone who is social, takes the chance to really talk to people and make deep connections with others? Or will I be someone who does something that I’m terrified of?

Most days, I didn’t choose any of these personas, and instead default to what I’m used to: basic Mrudani. The one that follows my monotonous schedule and who never stepped outside of her bubble. Those days felt like they dragged on forever and were simply the filler pages in the book of my life.

However, the mornings I chose to be different and make a change for myself were the days worth living for, the days where I didn’t know what would happen. This is what makes us grow as people. So, if I can give you at least one piece of advice, peer-to-peer, make that decision. Decide to take charge. Decide to do something bold. Decide to talk to new people. But most importantly, decide to always take a chance, because you never know where it might lead you.

I have never dreaded writing something as much as this senior column. I always thought it would be this quintessential finish, something where I could realize how much I have grown and changed. But now, I’ve gone through 15 different drafts and nothing seems correct because it feels disingenuous to give advice about something I’m still figuring out. In good conscience, I can’t tell you everything will work out, or that you’ll achieve all your goals, because you won’t. You will fail, over and over again. You’ll get rejected from that college, fall out with that friend, fail that test. What I can tell you is that it is your obligation to keep trying. There is no one divine meaning for existence except for what you make from it. If you find meaning in getting the same drink every morning, hold on to that. Find what calls you and pursue it, regardless of how many times you fail. The wonderful and terrible thing about life is that there is no final draft. All that you are is a first draft of a person. There will be flaws, mistakes, things you want to go back and revise, and you can’t. No one can. So just keep writing, keep moving forward. You are a first draft, flawed and filled with potential. Find your meaning, your purpose and use that to guide your story. Even then, if it doesn’t work out, you will have done something worth sharing.

I love watching movies. Comedies, actions, adventures, romances, horrors, coming of ages, you name it. This love for movies mainly comes from my dad, who would randomly sit me down and say, “you’ll like this movie.” Naturally, knowing nothing about what high school was like, I thought movies like “Dazed and Confused”, “The Breakfast Club” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” were what high school was actually like. Looking back, I wasn’t exactly right, but I wasn’t wrong either.

I’ve never skipped school to have a crazy adventure in downtown Chicago, I’ve never been in detention on a Saturday trying to outsmart my principal and share secrets with other students and I’ve never smoked at school and hazed incoming freshmen. While these movies weren’t the most realistic representations of high school, they still gave me some valuable advice that I’ve carried with me throughout school, and they’ve shown me things I wish I’d known going into high school. 

1: Step back and enjoy the little things. School can get pretty hectic with all the tests and grades, and they can easily make you forget the fun aspects of school. Don’t forget to stop and look around once in a while; if you’re too focused on school, life can speed past you. 

2: Don’t limit yourself to one friend group. In some ways, yes, those stereotypical “cliques” exist, but it’s so much more than that. I was in a ton of extracurriculars and activities and I also love to talk, so I’ve been in a good chunk of friend groups. Some groups came and went, and others have stuck so strongly that I’m going to live with them in the future. If groups aren’t your thing, that’s perfectly fine, at least have one person to call a friend. Talk to people, get to know them, find your people. 

3: Remember that school isn’t everything. As I said earlier, it’s easy to get weighed down by grades and academics. I’ve certainly had my fair share of breakdowns over grades, so just keep in mind that high school isn’t the end-all be-all, even if it feels like the world is going to end if you bomb a test. Your grades don’t define you. 

4: Be yourself unabashedly. I’m sure that phrase is said a lot, but it’s true. There’s something for everybody, and trust me, there’ll be a space where you can be your authentic self. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be yourself. 

I’ve enjoyed (mostly) every moment of high school and wouldn’t trade it for anything. High school was the first movie, and college will be the sequel, but unlike most sequels, it won’t be a flop…at least I’m hoping so.

Bellooooo! The final hours of my last West Side Story exporting night are winding down, and it’s time I finally finished this senior column — the senioritis final boss that I’ve been procrastinating for over a month (sorry, Ms. Whittaker). 

Of all the (very few) ideas that I struggled to conjure up, it only felt right to write about what’s near and dear to my heart: minions. These silly and adorable yellow comrades adorned in overalls and goggles have not only provided me with good laughs, but have also taught me a valuable lesson or two that I’m eager to bestow upon y’all.

1 – Although minions have an impenetrably strong devotion to bananas and villainy, their dedication to their friendships will always be the strongest. I may forget events and everything I ‘learned’ in school, but I’ll never forget the funny moments and long-lasting memories I’ve made with classmates and friends.

2- Always giggling and trolling, minions are a constant reminder not to take life too seriously. Between school, work, and extracurriculars, it’s important to find the joy in every moment as if each were a moon heist.

Poopaye, West High! And tank yu to all the people who have acted as my beloved stand-in minions. 

mwak mwak mwak <3

anna banana out

High school is contradictory; it’s confusing and clarifying, predictable and surprising, unforgettable and fleeting. Senior year, especially, is an oxymoron.

Clear confusion

Its hard to quantify how many times I was confused in high school — at least as many days as I took AP Calc. And yet, in the middle of the uncertainty, things began to make sense. 

Cold sweat

Often, my confusion went hand in hand with a cold sweat: studying for finals, preparing for a presentation, waiting for college decisions. The pressure, though overwhelming in the moment, proved to reveal my priorities.

Only choice

Like many teenagers, I felt I had only one choice. Which college to attend, which classes to take, what clubs and sports I needed to do — it seemed like my high school experience was predetermined. However, after learning to detach from others’ expectations, I was best able to pursue my values.

Bittersweet

High school is bittersweet. You go to the senior sunrise, ready for the year, but even then, you know its the beginning of the end. You go to your last football game, you run your last race, you take your last final. The joy is real, but so is the sadness. 

Final draft

Now, as I’m approaching graduation, like this column, the end of my senior year is a final draft. This column, my last memento, is still messy. There will always be words I wish I had said, would’ve written, but maybe that’s the point — to embrace the imperfect process.

NOTE: I used my letter that everyone wrote in freshman year FOJ in this column. The italicized portions are from the letter, and the regular writing would be my current response. 

Hello,

Hi.

Another year, another letter. Did you miss me?

Yes.

Probably not, though you might miss BEING me.

Kind of.

Hey, I miss being in elementary school. How’s it been? Get all A’s? 

Yes. We did. It burnt us out, but we did.

No? That’s okay, you and I both know you probably drove yourself to the edge trying to get there.

You know me too well.

You made it. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for taking every dumb thing I ever did, embracing it, and moving forward and building from it.

Of course. Thank you for getting back up from every struggle and every difficult moment.

Right now, I don’t exactly know what I’m doing. Can you answer that question? I hope so.

Absolutely not, but that’s okay. I want to say sorry about that, but.

Also, I want you to know. Whatever you’ve done, I believe that it was worth it, and amazing. Everything I want, or none of it. I don’t care. You made it! And that’s what counts. 

Thank you. I think I needed to hear that. I didn’t exactly do everything you dreamed. In fact, I probably crushed some of your dreams myself, which I know would probably hurt you to hear. I promise we make it worth it, though, every single time, and we discover so many more amazing things. I trust that you can get us to where I am right now.

If that pattern continues, each year will just get harder, but we get stronger. I believe in you.

It did get harder. I won’t lie to you and say that the rest of high school was easy. You’d likely appreciate the honesty, so I’ll just say: it was miserable at times. However, there were also more incredible memories that I think you could imagine back then.

How about soccer? This year I plan on putting more than ever into it. Hopefully that worked out for you.

You would be so proud. We’re playing soccer in college, and it’s all because you decided to focus and dedicate yourself. I’m so grateful for that. 

It’s sad that writing this makes me anxious, but hopefully that got better too.

It did. We’re still nervous about life, but I think that’s okay. We’re going to be starting something new, and I think you would be so excited to see it. 

You better not be crying or anything.

Don’t worry, I’ve got a small smile on my face.

All in all, we did it. 

We did it. We made it through. 

Step by step. Keep on walking. Run if you can, fly if you can. If you have to, crawl. Inch yourself forward, but rest. 

We did all of those things. We had moments where we flew or sprinted through life. Other times, we crawled, barely pulling ourselves forward. We got better at resting with time, but as you probably assumed when writing that, it’s a work in progress. We didn’t do everything perfectly by any means, but we kept on walking, and still tell ourselves that today. 

You got this.

I promise that you got this, too; trust me on that. 

Thank you for everything.

Vera Lynn Tanas