Spring break for the young and bored

Wondering what to do with the week of scholarly reprieve that spring break grants you? Here are some of the more humorous options.

Ting Gao, Reporter|March 17, 2019

Graphic by Ting Gao.

Spring break is easily one of students’ favorite times of year. From February onwards, we eagerly count down the days until we can finally rush out that door into the brisk air, celebrating nine straight days of freedom. And yet what’s a student to do with all this free time? Homework? Not likely. And there’s only so much Netflix you can watch without getting stir-crazy. So as funny spring-themed alternatives, try some of these activities instead.

Attempt to play sports.

Let’s be real: the temperature may have finally crawled above freezing, vanquishing any lingering cold pockets from the most recent polar vortex, but that doesn’t make it spring by any stretch. It’s more of a mud season, really. Of course, if you’re dying for a breath of fresh air, you can try your best to slog through the mud that will be sure to be everywhere.

Lose yourself in the madness that is March.

If you prefer to enjoy your sports from the comfort of your couch, then March is probably one of your favorite months. As March Madness is finally approaching, get a head start on researching all 68 teams. Then, nestle into the sofa and prepare yourself for a full day of watching the games. Just make sure not to go too long without going to the bathroom.

Enjoy the remaining few weeks before pollen allergies kick in.

For the unfortunate souls gifted with sensitive immune systems, spring is most assuredly not one of your favorite times. Instead of being able to enjoy the sunshine, the birdsong and the flowers, when spring does arrive, you will probably be busy wiping watery eyes and runny noses. Savor the few weeks that remain to you when you can still breathe through both nostrils.

Finally do the cleaning you’ve been postponing.

Remember back in January when you made that New Year’s resolution to be more organized this year? Yeah, that probably lasted two weeks before you gave up. But hopefully with a whole week to yourself, you’ll finally get yourself to do a little bit of spring cleaning and get your room to look half-way presentable. Who knows, you might just find that AWOL left sock.

Reenact the death of Julius Caesar.

Get together with a few friends (or sixty) and celebrate the Ides of March (the middle of the month of March, or March 15) belatedly with a little bit of classic theater. Of course, make sure to ensure the health and safety of all participants by casting a bottle of Caesar dressing as your Caesar before you proceed to demonstrate your thespian talents.