Originally released in the 1980s, parent company, Oscar Mayer, released the well-known, grab-and-go lunches called “Lunchables” for the first time. Since then, millions of Lunchables have been sold across the world and into our households. As for many children, including myself, they were always something to look forward to because of the bright colors and infrequency of the meal. So, as a piece of nostalgia, why not revisit the Luchable meals and see each ranked and reviewed from worst to best? Keep in mind that the rating scale is purely on a Lunchable-adapted scale (not including every food ever existed). One represents awfulness, five represents the meal’s existence as okay, and 10 represents a solid, Lunchable, grab-and-go meal.
#7: Chicken Dunkers
Rating: 2/10
Eating cold chicken nuggets was a new experience for me, and it is not recommended. When you sit down with a Lunchable it’s expected that you don’t have a microwave right by you. Unless you have an oven, the texture is too soggy to even be appealing. Even when you’re done it’s disappointing because you can’t even recycle the container because of the ketchup. However, the sides are what carry this meal. Good ketchup and solid sides like “chocolate sandwich cookies” (depending on what kind of meal you get) push the Lunchable rating further up.
#6: Cracker Stackers
Rating: 3/10
With the incredible variety of the Cracker Stackers, what’s most disappointing is how fondly I used to remember these. Quite possibly the most well-known of the Lunchable meals (aside from the pizza meal), this is, unfortunately, one of the blandest meals. The cheeses taste exactly how you think they would, but the crackers have no flavor, and the meats, are even more bland. I had such high hopes for this because it used to be one of my favorites — I was wrong. What is nice is that some of the variations have sides such as gummy worms or Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, however.
#5: Cheese Dip and Salsa Nachos
Rating: 4/10
I went into this meal really excited because I had always seen kids around me get this one when I was younger, but I never ventured to try the nachos until now. I can easily imagine someone eating these years after their childhood and feeling nostalgic for the taste, but it is an acquired taste. This is definitely the Lunchable meal I’m the most conflicted about because both dips have a strong taste and smell. At first, I hated the taste of both, but after a while, I got used to the taste and ended up not entirely disliking it. Heated or not, the nachos taste about the same. The cheese tastes like not-quite-canned cheese and the salsa does not taste nearly as good as I’m sure Lunchables could make it, unfortunately. The corn chips have no flavor whatsoever, but the two dips do compensate for it. I can understand why people enjoyed this one, but this comes across as a very polarizing Lunchable to me.
#4 Uploaded: Turkey and Ham Sub
Rating: 5/10
So far, the trend I’ve noticed with the Lunchable meals is the lack of flavor. The Uploaded Lunchables, though, can fall back on their quality sides. Priced a little less than two dollars more than the regular Lunchable meal, the sandwiches include Cheez-Its or Pringles, Kool-Aid and gummy worms or Hershey’s Kisses. The sandwich is — fine. It’s the same criticism as the prior deli meats with there being fake taste to no taste at all because the bread-to-insides ratio is horribly off. If I were to estimate, a regular sub would be maybe 60% bread, but in this case, it’s about 80% bread. Thank goodness for the sides because otherwise, this would be even lower.
#3: Bologna and American Cheese
Rating: 6/10
What is so incredibly refreshing about this meal is that the product tastes like what you think it will. You hear the word “bologna” and you know what to expect it will taste like. Unlike the ham and turkey Lunchables, this deli meat actually tastes like its name. Of course, it will depend on whether you like bologna or not in the first place, but at least this meal tastes like what it advertises. Even the cookies taste like Chips Ahoy (even though they’re not). This meal accomplishes what it sets out to do and for that, it places third.
#2: Cheese and Pepperoni Pizzas
Rating: 9/10
Thank goodness a Lunchable could save the day. Thank goodness one of the Lunchables was as good as we remembered. The worst part about this is the assembly and the fact that there’s not quite enough cheese, but that’s it. The biggest issue I think Lunchables has had so far is the lack of flavor and/or quality, and this completely optimizes its quality and flavor situation. Both with and without cheese tastes just as good as one another. This is also the first time I’ve heated up a Lunchable pizza and it wasn’t half bad, but cold is still better. Never has there been such a jump in quality from one meal to the next so far and I’m so thankful that Lunchables made a meal like this to save them. And yet there’s still one more…
#1 Upgraded: Deep Dish Cheese and Pepperoni Pizza
Rating: 10/10
This is as good as Lunchables can get. This is my first time trying an Uploaded Lunchable for pizzas and it did not disappoint. Everything in this is delicious from the gummy worms to the Cheez-Its to the Kool-Aid to the pizza itself. Unlike the regular pizzas, because it’s one big pizza, there’s actually enough cheese and there’s no need to worry about construction because you only have to worry about saucing once. The ONLY issue with this meal is that on the box it shows the cheese and pepperonis on top of the sauce despite the fact that the meal is a deep dish pizza. Easily number one.
